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An Attitude Adjustment

by christina posted November 14, 2012 category christina, cooking

For the past few months, I’ve had a hard day almost every day, it seems. There’s been a lot weighing on my heart and mind, and it’s with me every minute of every day. I’ve allowed the “hard stuff” to infiltrate into my life in a very dangerous way. It’s affected the way I love my husband, the way I approach each day when my alarm goes off, the way I care about my friends, the way I work. It’s caused me to feel like I’m dying a little every day, instead of living, and I’ve started to wear woe is me like a badge of honor. I’ve cried more than I’ve laughed and my patience with other people has been at its breaking point.

It’s been a problem.

When someone tells you truth about yourself that you don’t want to hear, it often causes a physical reaction.  Unwelcome truth can make your stomach clench and jump and your fists curl up, ready to fight in the defense of denial. You might sweat through your diligently-applied Maxim or feel your face turning shades of scarlet or furrow your brow in response. Typically, my face stays completely devoid of emotion but my stomach knots up; my hands tighten into fists. My heart races in indignation, with the feeling of how dare you bring that up when we were having such a positively lovely time darting around the actual issue; the elephant in the room.

A few days ago, my husband looked at me straight in the eye and said, You’re so focused on your misery that you don’t really believe other people can have hard days too. Then he walked into the other room to, you know, give me space.

Ouch. Cue the stomach clenching and fist curling and heart pounding. I stared straight ahead and continued to clean up the kitchen, stacking plates with a force that could have broken a few. On the inside, I fumed, furious that he’d even try to confront me on anything when I was going through such a hard time. I proudly decided I’d think about the reasons why he was wrong and I could continue to be pathetic and needy and full of complaints.

It’s taken me a few days to come to grips with this reality: he spoke truth to me that day. It was hard to hear, even more difficult to swallow — like a gigantic multivitamin/horse pill that promises to give you forever-long health (plus great skin!) but you have to swallow it over and over and over until it goes down. Your stomach might revolt against it for a few days, and you might hate it for a little bit. But over time, you realize it’s working. You feel good. You feel whole.

So. I’m ridding my mind of complaints and self-centeredness and praying for a resolve to love fully, even from a place of emptiness. I’m making a commitment to approach each day with expectation and hope, even when I want to pull the covers over my head in a blind attempt to skew reality. I want my life to be a place where truth resides and transforms and isn’t received with indignation. So here’s to a change of attitude, a change of heart. I’m taking Chuck Swindoll’s wisdom and remembering this: 

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude… I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.

 

———————–

These pancakes are the perfect start to a workweek morning or a lazy weekend day. They’re my favorite of all pancake recipes and I hope you enjoy them too.

Slightly adapted from Can You Stay For Dinner

Whole Wheat Sour Cream Pancakes

Makes 8-10 3” pancakes

-1/2 cup whole wheat flour
-1/2 cup all purpose flour
-2 teaspoons baking powder
-2 1/2 teaspoons sugar
-1/2 teaspoon salt
-3/4 cup milk (dairy or nondairy)
-1 egg
-4 tablespoons sour cream

In a large bowl, whisk the flours, baking powder, sugar, and salt.

In a small bowl, whisk the egg into the milk. Pour into the dry ingredients and stir just until combined. Add the sour cream and give the batter one final stir. (Be sure to not overmix the batter; it will lead to tough pancakes otherwise)

Spoon a quarter cup of batter onto a griddle or skillet set over medium heat that has been coated with nonstick cooking spray. Flip after 3-4 minutes, just as you notice bubbles forming around the edges of each pancake, and cook 2 minutes more. (Do not overcook or your pancakes will be dry.)

Serve each pancake with a pat of good butter and warm maple syrup. I like to stack mine three-high. On special days, we top with raspberries and blueberries.

 

 

 

29 Responses to An Attitude Adjustment

  1. Christina,
    I LOVE this post! First of all, I can relate to you about focusing on the hard time I’m having and forget to see the good things and the bigger picture. With Thanksgiving coming up, this post reminds me to practice an attitude of thankfulness and respond in a way that will allow me to actually feel better and feel like I am embracing life.
    Thanks Christina!
    Sarah

    • Sarah! Thanks for your words. It’s so hard to focus on being positive and being grateful for the good…isn’t that strange about life? Glad you enjoyed this :) Miss you.

  2. This is awesome! Thank you for your honesty.

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